22-07-2008, 12:23am
Last words.
>
> A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife
> speaks to the counselor alone.
> The counselor asks, 'You say you've been married 20 years, so what
> seems to be the problem?'
> The wife replies, 'It's my husband, he's driving me crazy! I'm going
> to leave him if he continues!'
> 'How does he drive you crazy?'
> 'For 20 years,' she says, 'he's been doing these stupid things.
> First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and
> refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing.'
> The marriage counselor is amused, 'Anything else?'
> 'He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!'
> 'Hmm, anything else?'
> The wife hesitates, 'whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be
> on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!'
> 'Ah,' says the counselor, 'I think I'll talk to your husband now.'
> So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters.
> The counselor tells him, 'Your wife says that you've been driving her
> crazy. She might even leave you.'
> The husband looks shocked, 'WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and
> considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be
> the problem?'
> The counselor explains, 'She says that you've got these habits that
> are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public;
> looking at the floor and never going near anyone else.'
> The husband looks concerned, 'Oh, you don't understand! It's one of
> the few things my father told me to do on his death bed and I swore
> I'd obey everything he said.'
> 'What did he say?'
> 'He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!'
> The counselor looks amused, 'Actually, that means that you should not
> do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry.'
> The husband looks sheepish, 'Oh. Okay.'
> The counselor continues, 'And you keep picking your nose in public.'
> 'Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He
> told me to always keep my nose clean.'
> The counselor looks faint, 'That means that you should not indulge in
> any criminal activity.'
> 'Oh,' says the husband feeling very stupid.
> 'And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during
> your lovemaking.'
> 'This,' says the husband seriously, 'is the last thing my father
> commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing.'
> 'What did he say?' asks the counselor
> 'With his dying breath, he said, 'Don't screw up.''
>
> A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife
> speaks to the counselor alone.
> The counselor asks, 'You say you've been married 20 years, so what
> seems to be the problem?'
> The wife replies, 'It's my husband, he's driving me crazy! I'm going
> to leave him if he continues!'
> 'How does he drive you crazy?'
> 'For 20 years,' she says, 'he's been doing these stupid things.
> First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and
> refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing.'
> The marriage counselor is amused, 'Anything else?'
> 'He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!'
> 'Hmm, anything else?'
> The wife hesitates, 'whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be
> on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!'
> 'Ah,' says the counselor, 'I think I'll talk to your husband now.'
> So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters.
> The counselor tells him, 'Your wife says that you've been driving her
> crazy. She might even leave you.'
> The husband looks shocked, 'WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and
> considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be
> the problem?'
> The counselor explains, 'She says that you've got these habits that
> are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public;
> looking at the floor and never going near anyone else.'
> The husband looks concerned, 'Oh, you don't understand! It's one of
> the few things my father told me to do on his death bed and I swore
> I'd obey everything he said.'
> 'What did he say?'
> 'He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!'
> The counselor looks amused, 'Actually, that means that you should not
> do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry.'
> The husband looks sheepish, 'Oh. Okay.'
> The counselor continues, 'And you keep picking your nose in public.'
> 'Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He
> told me to always keep my nose clean.'
> The counselor looks faint, 'That means that you should not indulge in
> any criminal activity.'
> 'Oh,' says the husband feeling very stupid.
> 'And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during
> your lovemaking.'
> 'This,' says the husband seriously, 'is the last thing my father
> commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing.'
> 'What did he say?' asks the counselor
> 'With his dying breath, he said, 'Don't screw up.''