13-08-2009, 09:29pm
The fishing trip
Joe and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing
trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because
his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Joe
headed home frustrated.
The following week when Joe's buddies arrived at the lake to set up
camp, they were shocked to see Joe. He was already sitting at the campground
with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire
glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Joe?"
"I didn't have to," Joe replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went
home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I
couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me, covered my
eyes and said, 'Surprise'."
"When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see
through negligee and she said, ' Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to
the bed and you can do whatever you want'..... So, Here I am!"
________________________________________________________________________________
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which
was as clean and empty as it was on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked
my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing ...
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands,
then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.
Joe and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing
trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because
his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Joe
headed home frustrated.
The following week when Joe's buddies arrived at the lake to set up
camp, they were shocked to see Joe. He was already sitting at the campground
with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire
glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Joe?"
"I didn't have to," Joe replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went
home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I
couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me, covered my
eyes and said, 'Surprise'."
"When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see
through negligee and she said, ' Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to
the bed and you can do whatever you want'..... So, Here I am!"
________________________________________________________________________________
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which
was as clean and empty as it was on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked
my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing ...
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands,
then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.
If it's too loud....You're too old!
If it's too fast....You're too old!
If it's too sexy....You're ???
If it's too fast....You're too old!
If it's too sexy....You're ???