A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see s his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'
Young boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had sex for he first time.
The proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have to wait until next pay day'
Boy says 'that's alright Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it anyway'
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Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last night.
They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves.
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What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris? .
The wife.
***********************************************************
A friend of mine says he is shagging twins.
I said ' How can you tell the difference?'
He said " Her brother has got a moustache "
**********************************************************
Hubby has ' I love you' tatooed on his penis, and goes home to show his wife.
She says 'There you go again, trying to put words in my mouth.
**********************************************************
A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted "He's behind you !"
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Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see s his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'
Young boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had sex for he first time.
The proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have to wait until next pay day'
Boy says 'that's alright Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it anyway'
********************************************************
Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last night.
They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves.
*********************************************************
What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris? .
The wife.
***********************************************************
A friend of mine says he is shagging twins.
I said ' How can you tell the difference?'
He said " Her brother has got a moustache "
**********************************************************
Hubby has ' I love you' tatooed on his penis, and goes home to show his wife.
She says 'There you go again, trying to put words in my mouth.
**********************************************************
A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted "He's behind you !"
*****************************************************************
If it's too loud....You're too old!
If it's too fast....You're too old!
If it's too sexy....You're ???
If it's too fast....You're too old!
If it's too sexy....You're ???