01-09-2010, 08:08pm
Earlier on today I I saw an African kid eating grass by the side of the road.
I stopped & said, "don't eat that, come to my place with me".
The child replied, " I have three brothers & a sister, can they come too"?
I replied, "don't be stupid, I've only got a small lawn".
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Two black fellas see a sign saying, "Make yourself white, $10".
"Lets do it", says Murray.
"All we have is a $20 note though". Says Albert.
"Right, you go first Albert, & when you get the change, I'll go in".
So Albert heads off & comes back two minutes later, all nice & white.
"Wow look at you mate, all flash looking eh! Give me the other tenner then".
Albert says, "get stuffed you black prick".
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I feel stupid. I lost the pub trivia on the last question last night.
The question was, "Where do woman have the curliest hair"?
Apparently, the answer is Fiji.
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I was at Hungry Jacks this morning, & two Muslim woman,
wearing the brightest head to toe robes I've ever seen, came in.
Apparently, the burkas are better at Hungry Jacks.
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A priest booked into a motel and said, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."
The girl behind the counter said, "No, it's just normal porn, you sick prick".
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I walked past an abo sitting on the ground this arvo, & he said, "Any change mate"?
I said no, you're still black.
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My teenage son just told me he shagged the neighbours daughter for the first time last night.
"Well done son", I said, "I hope you used something for personal protection".
"Yeah dad, a balaclava".
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I've just been banned from a Muslim clothes shop.
I only asked for a bomber jacket.
Touchy bastards.
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I'm going to KFC for the Julia Gillard meal deal tonight.
2 small breasts, 2 large thighs, & a big red box.
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I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army Soup Kitchen.
All I said was, "will you bastards hurry up, some of us have a home to go to".
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I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 blokes then dropped the mike on his foot & said "F&@k me".
What happened next will haunt me forever.
I stopped & said, "don't eat that, come to my place with me".
The child replied, " I have three brothers & a sister, can they come too"?
I replied, "don't be stupid, I've only got a small lawn".
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Two black fellas see a sign saying, "Make yourself white, $10".
"Lets do it", says Murray.
"All we have is a $20 note though". Says Albert.
"Right, you go first Albert, & when you get the change, I'll go in".
So Albert heads off & comes back two minutes later, all nice & white.
"Wow look at you mate, all flash looking eh! Give me the other tenner then".
Albert says, "get stuffed you black prick".
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I feel stupid. I lost the pub trivia on the last question last night.
The question was, "Where do woman have the curliest hair"?
Apparently, the answer is Fiji.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I was at Hungry Jacks this morning, & two Muslim woman,
wearing the brightest head to toe robes I've ever seen, came in.
Apparently, the burkas are better at Hungry Jacks.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A priest booked into a motel and said, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."
The girl behind the counter said, "No, it's just normal porn, you sick prick".
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I walked past an abo sitting on the ground this arvo, & he said, "Any change mate"?
I said no, you're still black.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
My teenage son just told me he shagged the neighbours daughter for the first time last night.
"Well done son", I said, "I hope you used something for personal protection".
"Yeah dad, a balaclava".
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I've just been banned from a Muslim clothes shop.
I only asked for a bomber jacket.
Touchy bastards.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm going to KFC for the Julia Gillard meal deal tonight.
2 small breasts, 2 large thighs, & a big red box.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army Soup Kitchen.
All I said was, "will you bastards hurry up, some of us have a home to go to".
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 blokes then dropped the mike on his foot & said "F&@k me".
What happened next will haunt me forever.