A man is visiting his wife in hospital where she had been in a coma for a few weeks. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast as he is talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out to tell the doctor and he suggest that he try it again on the right breast to see if there is a reaction. The man goes back in and rubs the right breast and this brings a moan from his wife. The doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying that he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want to embarrass them. The man goes in and comes out about 5 minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor that his wife is now dead. The doctor asks what happened, to which the man replies:
She choked!
Ordinary joke Buggsy...
Very nice bike pic though.............
Not really tasteless, but mildly funny anyway...
A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience
at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce.
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but
remember, if we get a divorce, it will mean no more trips to Europe, no more wintering in the Whitsunday's, or summers in Tuscany. No more Porsche and no more country club. We'll have to sell the 26-room house and move to two smaller homes, but the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
"Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
She replies, "Ours is prettier."
"sometimes, crime does pay"
An adorable little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper's heart melts and he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She blushing, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice,
"I don't fink my python weally gives a phuck"