The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

A DIY genius of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.

[Mutha]

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head. Talk about a tin head.

[Mutha]

A Belgian engineer was accidentally blown up in November 2002 by one of 20 deadly booby traps he had rigged in his house. He had wanted to prevent his ex-wife and 14 children from legally taking ownership of the place. Beware the ingenuity of a man.

[Mutha]

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

[Mutha]

A chubby Chicago garbage collector, Ruffs Jackson, was warned that he would be fired unless he loses some weight. He crash-dieted and lost 200 pounds. That's when his problems started.. He fell ill, found that he could not lift the bins, was given the sack anyway, and his wife left him.

[Mutha]

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Geeks invented three types of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also have myths. A myth is a female moth.

[Mutha]

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands.

[Mutha]

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.

[Mutha]

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

[Mutha]

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted , "hurrah!" Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

[Mutha]

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote very loud music.

[Mutha]

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat.

[Mutha]

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.

[Mutha]

China has more English speakers than the United States.

[Mutha]

English is the official language of more countries than any other language