The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

166. Overheard @ a Taco Bell " I have to go home, my baby has worms...." (unknown what baby means, human or animal).... "My baby has worms coming out of her mouth".

[Mutha]

167. We were late to work because we had to pull off the road to watch the whales while they were breaching.

[Mutha]

168. I felt so sick that I didn't feel like getting out of bed to get to the telephone to call in sick.

[Mutha]

169. I got my truck stuck in the car wash yesterday and messed up my back and cut my hands pushing it out, so I wont be in to work today I broke the straps on my prosthetic leg and I have a bad sore on my stump and cant walk.

[Mutha]

170. The babysitter didn't show up today so I cant come in to work.

[Mutha]

171. My radiator has a leak in it. (employee routinely drives more than one car)

[Mutha]

172. I wont be in to work today my girlfriends husbands dieing and I have to be there to console her.

[Mutha]

173. I'm sorry I was late for work, but when I was getting ready to brush my teeth I squeezed to much toothpaste out of the tube and it took me a long time to get it all back in.

[Mutha]

174. We had a girl call in with this excuse......"I can't come in to work as a skunk sprayed me last night!" Now how's that for an excuse?

[Mutha]

175. The blankets were too heavy for me to lift so I was stuck in bed all day.

[Mutha]

176. (Monday Morning) I won't be in today, I was cleaning my shower yesterday morning, and the fumes from the cleaner made me a little nauseous. (Tuesday Morning) I won't be in today, I am still feeling a little nauseous, you know...the fumes. (Wednesday) I am just going to take the rest of the week off, those fumes were really strong.---Someone actually used this in my office.

[Mutha]

177. I work for a company that makes and sells UPS systems for computers. We have a tech here who does not like her job and has pretty much used every excuse there is. Like, "I'm having menopausal hot flashes," and she's only 32 years old. The best came to us on a Tuesday, which happened to be the first day of the Consumer Electronic Show in Vegas. The bosses were gone. She comes in at 11:30, instead of 8:00 like she's supposed to and gives me the old "I-thought-it-was-Saturday!" HA! On a Tuesday?! I think NOT!

[Mutha]

178. I was really horney last night and I had my thumb in my ass when I sneezed!! I clinched up so violently that I broke my thumb and will not be able to return to work for at least two weeks! OOOPS

[Mutha]

179. I was trying to find an excuse for work in the morning. I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday 12 hours a day. My Boss knows I like to drink alot! I wanted to watch football on Sunday since I work Sunday during the day. But, I once I left a message he never got. So I might use it tonight. " Sam I just met this great Lady"....I'm single 40.... I knew he would understand." I think I'm going to get lucky....so I hope! I won't be at work in the morning!" He never got the message and I didn't get lucky, but I did get drunk and didn't get into trouble, even if he heard it!

[Mutha]

180. Sorry for not coming into work yesterday. I had the making up for everyone else but me taking time off from work flu!