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26-03-2008, 05:08pm
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly
asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was
going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment
on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just
as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
the nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he
Fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees
and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off
even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I
could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony,
and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack
and died almost instantly." The Angel sat back and thought a moment.
Technically, the guy did have a bad day,it was a crime of passion.
So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
was Kevin Rudd." Mr. Rudd, before I can let you in, I need to hear
about what your day was like when you died." Kevin said, "No
problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of a
26th floor apartment where we were staying for a conference doing my daily
exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away,
slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to
catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this
crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my
fingers Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which
broke my fall, so I didn't die right away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things
off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Kevin finishes his
story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself.
"Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he
lets Rudd enter.
A few seconds later, Shane Warne comes up to the gate. The Angel is
almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of demon bowlers or car
accidents pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr Warne ,
please tell me what it was like the day you died."
Shane says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"
So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly
asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was
going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment
on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just
as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
the nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he
Fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees
and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off
even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I
could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony,
and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack
and died almost instantly." The Angel sat back and thought a moment.
Technically, the guy did have a bad day,it was a crime of passion.
So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
was Kevin Rudd." Mr. Rudd, before I can let you in, I need to hear
about what your day was like when you died." Kevin said, "No
problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of a
26th floor apartment where we were staying for a conference doing my daily
exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away,
slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to
catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this
crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my
fingers Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which
broke my fall, so I didn't die right away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things
off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Kevin finishes his
story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself.
"Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he
lets Rudd enter.
A few seconds later, Shane Warne comes up to the gate. The Angel is
almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of demon bowlers or car
accidents pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr Warne ,
please tell me what it was like the day you died."
Shane says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"