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24-07-2008, 08:17am
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (or the uncertainty of the English
language).
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married. Did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
'cause I still have mine."
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the Divorce Court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your Honour," the husband said. "And every now and then,
I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "Idon't like
the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good
with the kids."
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
were used to put the curse on you". The old man says without hesitation, "I
now pronounce you man and wife."
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the blonde says, and
hangs up.
language).
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married. Did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
'cause I still have mine."
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the Divorce Court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your Honour," the husband said. "And every now and then,
I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "Idon't like
the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good
with the kids."
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
were used to put the curse on you". The old man says without hesitation, "I
now pronounce you man and wife."
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the blonde says, and
hangs up.
Chopper says - "Harden the f*** up Australia"