Laughter... The Best Medicene PLEASE USE NEW THREAD

[BUSABAZZ]

One Friday afternoon in class the teacher says to the students "Ok class every friday afternoon i will ask a question and if you get it right you can take monday off, todays question is, how many litres of water are in the pacific ocean?"
Naturally nobody could answer so the teacher says "see you monday class!"
the following friday the teacher asks "how many grains of sand are on Bondi Beach?"
once again nobody could answer so the teacher says "ok see you monday class!"
Little Johnny was not happy with these stupid questions so the next friday he came prepared, just when the teacher was about to ask another question little Johnny gets two table tennis balls he previously painted black and rolled them accross the floor, they rolled to the front of the classroom and hit the teacher in the ankles, the teacher looks up and says, "O...K who's the comedian with the two black balls?"
Little Johnny jumps up and shouts "Bill Cosby Miss and i'll see ya tuesday!"
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A man went to the barber's for a haircut with his daughter, she had a cake that she was about to eat, the barber asked the man "is that your daughter with you? the man said "yes thats my little girl"
The barber turned and said "hello little girl, do you know you will get hair on your muffin?" the little girl says "YEAH that's right and i'll eventually grow tits too you dirty old bastard!"
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What's the difference between jam and marmalade?


You can't marmalade your dick up ya girlfriends ass!
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What's the difference between pink and purple?


The grip.
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An irishman walks into a pub and asks the barman "what's the fastest way to get to Dublin?"
the barman asks "are you driving or walking?"
the irishman say's "yeah i'm driving"
the barman then says "yep that's the fastest"
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An irishman goes to the plumbing section at a hardware store and buys a bath tub, after a day or two the irishman rings the store and complains "the bath i bought leaks" the store assistant asks "did you use the plug?"
then the irishman says " OHHH what..... it's electric?"

Cheers
Stay upright