The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[CeeJay07]

Maybe this should go in the "Laughter... The Best Medicene " thread?
But i just need to get it off my chest....

My next door neighbour who is only 20 years old and has never ridden anything larger than a pitbike has a friend that hoots up and down our street on a little Yamahahaha YZ 80 and gives it a few huge revs as he passes, (this happens at 1:00am at times)... my neighbour is just as, if not more annoying (hence me geeting this off my chest) with his pitbikes, cars, doof doof music and wannabe violent street gang (if you say something, he gets 10 or more of his mates and smashes your windows and/or threatens a home invasion, i've seen it!).... Anyway.... yesterday his mate come screaming up the street again and my neighbour turns to me and says "Get your Busa out Bazz i wanna see a trailie and you race and i reckon he'd beat you around the streets!".... Naturally i pissed myself laughing at him and said..."How much head start would he like?" But he was persistent and said "that YZ 80 can get up to 140kph", so (once again.... Naturally) i said "Dude i can hit 160 in first gear THEN i have 5 more to go!"

Today getting the junk mail he comes up and says "i've told my mate you wanna race him", (WTF? lol) i just laughed and said "Not gonna happen bloke"
Once again he persists and this time starts the childish name calling.
So just to shut him up i said... "OK THEN.... These are the rules, stop/giveway signs MUST be obeyed, NO cutting corners and ride it like a road bike, when i win i get to keep his bike and IF i lose he gets bragging rights to say he beat a 1300cc bike with an 80cc trail bike on the road, finally not forgetting there's between 50 to 100 metres between each corner!"

Then the abuse and threats started pouring out of his mouth!

I'm pissed at myself for falling into his childish arguments, but i try to cut it short by telling some stupid joke i read to change the subject.... Most of all i'm getting sick and tired of being neighbourly and friendly as to protect my mother and her house.

I'm getting too old and too sick for this sort of shit!

*Deep breath in...... exhaaaaaaale.... i feel better now*

Keep the knucklehead next door on your good side then distract him. My favourite methods are (or rather would be);
1: pour brake fluid over his car at night
2: empty a full can of expanda foam up his exhaust in one squirt
3: call the cops next time he's screaming up the street on the YZ and when they ask who you are, make up a house number far away from yours (opposite side of the road too!)


Or, when all else fails, invite a heap of us to your place and we'll dance with his ten mates.

P.S. this advise has been given without legal consequences taken into account. No recourse on the author if these tips fail.


P.P.S. this is meant as a joke...I wouldn't know the first thing about dealing with annoying neighbours