27-10-2006, 03:16pm
HOWARD IN HELL
I had a dream last night. I dreamt that John Howard was
struck by lightning and dies. His soul arrives in heaven
and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven,"
says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a Prime Minister around these parts, you see,
so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Little Rodent.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll
do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then
you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the P.M.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his fellow
Liberals from the past who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy
and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce
about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell
and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter
is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with Honest John joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity."
Little Johnny reflects for a minute, then he answers:
"Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful,
but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the Little Rodent. "Yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning......
Today you voted !!!!!!!"
The Phantom is back !
I had a dream last night. I dreamt that John Howard was
struck by lightning and dies. His soul arrives in heaven
and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven,"
says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a Prime Minister around these parts, you see,
so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Little Rodent.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll
do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then
you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the P.M.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his fellow
Liberals from the past who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy
and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce
about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell
and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter
is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with Honest John joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity."
Little Johnny reflects for a minute, then he answers:
"Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful,
but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the Little Rodent. "Yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning......
Today you voted !!!!!!!"
The Phantom is back !